Physical Growth and Development
The first three months of a baby’s life are packed with change some quiet, some obvious. On average, most newborns gain about 5 to 7 ounces per week and grow roughly 1 to 1.5 inches per month during this stretch. That sounds like a lot, because it is. By the end of the third month, it’s common for babies to have gained around 2 pounds and grown 3 inches since birth. Clothes that fit last week may not make it over an arm this week.
Motor skills are still emerging. Most babies start to lift their heads briefly during tummy time by the end of month one. By month three, many can push up a little on their forearms. Movement is mostly jerky, and purposeful control takes more time. If hands don’t unclench yet or baby still startles frequently, it’s normal. That said, if there’s complete stiffness or floppiness, or no attempt at head control by 3 months, it’s worth checking in with a pediatrician.
Newborn reflexes are another big part of early development. These are primitive and wired in: the rooting reflex (turning toward a touch on the cheek), the sucking reflex (essential for feeding), and the startle or Moro reflex (arms flinging out when startled). These usually fade by 3 to 4 months as the brain starts to take the wheel. Their presence tells you the nervous system is doing its thing.
Lastly, tummy time is more important than it may look. A few supervised minutes a day on their belly helps build neck and shoulder strength, prevents flat spots, and lays groundwork for later milestones like rolling and crawling. Some babies love it; others scream through it. The key is consistency, not long stretches.
Growth and development don’t look the same for every baby, but there’s a general rhythm. Keep watching, keep adjusting and don’t get too caught up in the week by week charts. There’s a wide range of normal.
Feeding: Patterns and Changes
Feeding a newborn is less about strict schedules and more about learning to read the signals. Whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, or doing some mix of both, here’s what you can expect:
Breastfeeding vs. Formula What to Expect
Breastfeeding can be beautiful, frustrating, easy, difficult all in the same day. It’s calorie dense, dynamic, and tailor made for your baby, but it requires your body’s cooperation and a bit of luck with latch and milk supply. Formula is consistent, accessible, and allows others to pitch in early on. Neither choice is superior; both feed your baby. What matters most is feeding your baby in a way that works for you, your body, and your life.
Cluster Feeding and Growth Spurts
Newborns don’t eat on a strict clock. During growth spurts often around 7 10 days, 2 3 weeks, and again at 6 8 weeks they’ll cluster feed, meaning they seem to eat non stop for stretches of the day. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or they’re not getting enough. It’s their way of signaling the body (or bottle prep team) to ramp up supply.
Signs Baby Is Getting Enough Milk
Forget ounces in the early days, diapers and behavior tell the story. If your baby has at least 6 wet diapers and 3 4 poop diapers by day 5 onward, and seems generally content between feeds, things are likely on track. Bonus indicators: their weight stabilizes and starts to climb, and you hear consistent swallowing during feeding.
Tips for Creating a Feeding Rhythm (Even If Loose)
Newborns don’t read your planner. But you can still shape a rhythm. Start by noting when baby seems hungry, when they nap, and how long they feed. Over time, small patterns often emerge especially around weeks 6 8. Don’t force a strict routine, but gently encourage feed play sleep cycles during daylight hours to help structure the day. And if it all goes off track, that’s okay. Feeding your baby and keeping them comfortable are the real wins.
Newborn feeding is part science, part intuition. Give yourself room to learn. It’s messy, magical, and always evolving.
Sleeping: What’s Normal (and What’s Not)
Newborn sleep is anything but predictable and that’s not a flaw. It’s biology. In the first weeks, babies don’t have a circadian rhythm. Their tiny internal clocks aren’t wired yet to know the difference between day and night. What they do have is a need to feed every few hours, around the clock. That makes for a sleep pattern that looks more like scattered naps than anything close to a schedule.
Expect sleep to change rapidly in the first three months. In month one, any stretch longer than three hours is a win. By month two, some babies start clocking a longer stretch at night maybe four to five hours especially if feeding and soothing are aligned. By month three, a few unicorns sleep six hours straight, but it’s far from the norm.
One common issue is day night confusion. Baby sleeps all day, then suddenly wakes to party at 2 a.m. Gently flipping the script starts with lots of natural light and stimulation during the day and keeping nighttime interactions dim, calm, and all business.
Keep in mind, it’s not about forcing a strict schedule. It’s about guiding a rhythm that maps to how your baby’s brain and needs are developing. Pay attention to sleepy cues. Offer naps before overtiredness takes over. And limit wake windows those stretches of time your baby is alert based on their age.
Want to understand what’s going on under the surface? Check the deep dive on baby sleep cycles. It’ll help you make sense of sleep patterns and why they sometimes seem to shift just as you thought you figured them out.
Crying and Soothing
Babies cry. A lot. Especially in the first 12 weeks, when everything is new for them and for you. Most of the time, it’s not mysterious. Crying usually comes down to five things: hunger, a dirty diaper, tiredness, overstimulation, or discomfort (like gas or reflux). There’s also the “witching hour” a consistent window in the evening when some babies get especially fussy, for reasons science still debates.
That said, babies give signals before the crying starts. Watch for clenched fists, rooting (head turning and sucking motions), squirming, or sudden quiet zones after eye contact. These cues can help you head off a meltdown before it hits full volume.
When fussiness creeps in, calming techniques don’t need to be fancy. Swaddling works for many newborns, mimicking the snug safety of the womb. White noise or a gentle shush can soothe the nervous system. Motion bouncing, walking, car rides can help reset a baby stuck in crying mode. Sucking (pacifier or breast) is another proven comfort.
But here’s the line: if the crying feels excessive more than 3 hours a day, for more than 3 days a week it might be colic, or something medical. If your baby isn’t gaining weight, refuses to eat, has a fever, or their cry sounds sharp or unusual, it’s time to reach out to your pediatrician.
Knowing what’s normal and what isn’t helps take the edge off those hard hours. And remember, no one figures out their baby’s rhythm overnight.
Bonding and Baby’s Emotional World
The early weeks aren’t just about feeding and diapers they’re about laying down the foundation for your baby’s emotional security. One of the simplest, most powerful ways to do this is through skin to skin contact. It regulates your baby’s heartbeat and breathing, calms their nervous system, and helps them feel safe. Eye contact does the same those quiet, locked in gazes build trust and connection long before your baby can talk.
When your baby flashes that first real smile around 6 to 8 weeks, it’s more than just cute. It’s communication. It means they’re recognizing you, responding to your face, and engaging with the world. Match that energy. Smile back. Talk softly. These moments tell your baby: you matter, you belong.
Even the most ordinary parts of your day changing a diaper, folding laundry, walking to the mailbox can be bonding opportunities. Narrate your day to your baby. Pause for face time. Sing while you rinse bottles. Being present doesn’t mean being perfect. It means showing up, over and over.
And yes, you’ll have days when you’re fried emotionally, physically, mentally. That’s normal. On those days, connection can be as simple as holding your baby close, breathing together, and resting in the moment. Small gestures go a long way. Your presence is enough.
What Parents Should Know About Sleep
Your sleep? It’s going to take a hit. In the first three months, newborns wake often every 2 to 4 hours at first because their tiny stomachs can’t hold much milk. You won’t be getting long, uninterrupted stretches for a while, and that’s hard. But it’s normal. Fragmented sleep is part of the deal, so lower your expectations and make rest happen in pieces wherever you can.
A word on rhythms: Perfection is overrated. What matters more is consistency creating small routines around naps, feeds, and bed that help your baby feel predictability. It can be a simple cue, like a quiet diaper change before sleep or a quick lullaby in a dark room. Build patterns, not pressure. They add up.
Safety always comes first. The basics: back to sleep on a flat, firm surface with no pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals. Share a room, not a bed, if possible. These practices cut the risk of SIDS and help protect your baby during their earliest, most vulnerable nights.
For a deeper break down of what baby sleep actually looks like and why it’s so different from adult sleep explore baby sleep cycles. Knowing what’s normal helps you worry less and rest more, even if it’s just in 90 minute stretches.
Final Notes on Surviving (And Thriving) These Early Weeks
Forget the glossy expectations. Newborn care isn’t about doing it “right” it’s about tuning into what works, moment by moment.
Let’s clear the air on a few common myths. First: you do not spoil a newborn by holding them too much. Closeness builds trust, and trust lays the groundwork for development. Second: babies don’t need a strict schedule at this stage. Rhythm is helpful, but rigidity? Not so much. And no crying isn’t always a sign that you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes, babies just cry.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing, either. It means you’re self aware. Whether it’s a partner taking a feeding shift, a friend picking up groceries, or a postpartum doula offering guidance it all makes a difference. Make a short list: three people you can call when things feel cracked open. Use it.
Progress doesn’t come in straight lines. You’ll have days where it clicks and days it absolutely doesn’t. Celebrate the small wins: a ten minute nap, a quiet feeding, a renewed sense of calm during bathtime. That’s forward motion.
And you? You’re not stuck, you’re adapting. You’re not just caring for a new baby you’re becoming a new version of yourself. It’s messy, sure. But also strangely beautiful. Give yourself some room. You’re growing, too.